Meet a Wedding Vendor: Rabbi Sarah

Photo by Adam Mason

Next in our “Meet a Wedding Vendor” series, we’re talking with wedding officiant, Rabbi Sarah Tasman. 

Rabbi Sarah Tasman is the founder of the Tasman Center for Jewish Creativity which offers in-person and online resources for those seeking meaningful, accessible, and personalized Jewish learning, community classes and gatherings. Whether she is teaching, leading or officiating, Rabbi Sarah specializes in making Judaism creative, personalized and accessible. Rabbi Sarah brings warmth, a rich knowledge of tradition and inclusivity to meet couples, families, and students wherever they are in order to create a meaningful experience. Previously, Rabbi Sarah was the InterfaithFamily/DC founding director, serving the needs of interfaith couples and families throughout Virginia, Maryland and Washington, DC.  

Tell us about the Tasman Center

Everything surrounds Jewish spirituality, creative expression and ritual. We offer in-person and online workshops, gatherings on Jewish mindfulness, spirituality and creativity. I do a lot of lifecycle events working with couples and families for weddings, baby namings and bar and bat mitzvahs. I do a lot of guest teaching on Jewish mindfulness, yoga and meditation. 

Tell us about your journey to becoming a rabbi 

I decided when I was 12 years old that I wanted to become a rabbi. I loved my own creative bat mitzvah ceremony, and later, my involvement in youth group and camp confirmed my desire to be a Jewish leader. I went to the Rabbinical School of Hebrew College in Boston, Massachusetts which is a pluralistic, trans-denominational rabbinical program. I am now a community rabbi and I work with people from all different Jewish backgrounds and those who love their Jewish partner or their Jewish family but they themselves may not be Jewish. 

What do you love about what you do? 

I love helping others connect with Judaism in a meaningful way, even if they are new to Judaism or aren't religious. I also love working with interfaith couples and families to make Judaism accessible and inclusive. I love helping others mark a life transition in a way that is personalized and creative.  

What should couples know when looking for a wedding officiant? 

Officiants have different personalities and working styles, some may offer or require pre-marital counseling, and some may have restrictions on when they are available or have different expectations about the couple or their future plans. I encourage couples to talk with more than one officiant to find the one that is right for them.  

I always do an initial consultation with couples to go over my process and answer questions and learn more about them so we can see if it's a good fit.  

Why is finding the right officiant so important to a couple’s wedding day? 

It's really important to me that couples choose the officiant that is right for them, someone that can help them prepare not only for the wedding day and the ceremony but also for their marriage and future together. The wedding day is like a commencement - it's the culmination of so much planning and anticipation, but it's also the first day of the rest of their lives together. Having an officiant that can guide couples through that transition and help them mark the occasion with intention is so important.  

Take us through the steps of working with each couple 

I do 5 meetings with couples usually in the year leading up to their wedding day. I guide them through the Jewish rituals that are part of the wedding day and give lots of options for how to make the ceremony more personalized and meaningful. I also provide pre-marital counseling, where we talk about the 5 Love Languages, their strengths and growth areas as a couple, communication, and conflict resolution so they have tools for a successful relationship. I also give homework! Couples have to answer questions about what they love, admire and respect about their partner, the milestones in their relationship and their vision for their marriage. I love to incorporate their answers into the wedding ceremony. In our last meeting we do a final run-through of the ceremony so they are knowledgeable about everything we're doing and the meaning for why we're doing it. 

Photo by Pamela Lepold Photography

What advice can you give couples? 

Marriage takes work! It's not a one-and-done thing that once you're married you automatically live happily ever after. Marriage takes communication, effort, and checking in about how your relationship is going, and being willing to adapt or change your actions if needed so that your partnership can work better. Marriage is like a garden; you have to tend it and nurture it to grow and bloom. I encourage couples to continually work on their relationship and check-in with each other. 

What’s one of the most meaningful ceremonies you’ve led? 

All of my ceremonies are so meaningful, I can't choose just one! I've done a few Jewish Hindu weddings that have been so beautiful and have incorporated rituals from the different faith backgrounds. I ask couples to choose or write their own Ketubah, or Jewish marriage contract, so that it's personal and reflective of their values and shared goals for their life together. Also, I love ones when the parents or grandparents have written or offered a blessing to the couple, or when the couple’s family and friends take part in the 7 Blessings. I also love the ones that are outside in nature.  

Do you have advice for couples during the pandemic?  

Couples will go through ups and downs throughout their entire relationship and their lives. Though this is an unprecedented time in each our of lives, every generation goes through difficult challenges. I would encourage couples to work on their communication, try to continue to have a good balance of time alone and together, work and fun. Take turns supporting each other. And reach out to family or friends, spiritual resources, or their rabbi or a therapist if they need extra support. That's advice I always give couples, even when we're not in a pandemic. 

Do you have a favorite memory from your own wedding?

I actually had two weddings! We had a small wedding in Louisville, KY in my parent's back yard because my grandmother was unable to travel to our larger ceremony in Martha’s Vineyard. My husband and I did a special Jewish ritual called "Brit Ahuvim" or a Lovers Covenant which involved us selecting objects of special meaning and significance to our relationship and our marriage and placing them in a bag, which we then lifted up to show we were each committing to and taking upon ourselves the responsibilities of our partnership and marriage. It was a moment that felt very personal and yet at the same time helped us feel connected to something larger than ourselves. I also loved being wrapped in a talis (prayer shawl) and being blessed by our rabbi in the ceremony - something I do for my couples when I officiate. 

Looking get in touch with Rabbi Sarah? You can find her here: 

Instagram | @rabbisarahtasman

Website | tasmancenter.org/weddings

In our next "Meet a Wedding Vendor” video, we’ll be interviewing Brittaney Sard of Petals for Hope!